Joke Explainer

Hamsters are the guinea pigs of pets This joke is a pun centered around the use of the word "guinea pig". Guinea pig can mean a specific animal of the species Cavia porcellus, but the word can also be used to denote that something is a test subject (because guinea pigs are traditionally used in animal testing in laboratory settings.) The phrase "A is the B of C" means if you were to take object A from category C, and compare it to an object in a different category it would be the most like object B. For instance: "Parmesan is the Mercedes-Benz of cheeses", which means that if Parmesan cheese were a car, it would be a Mercedes-Benz, since it is excellent. So, given those things the joke could mean (if you use the word guinea pig colloquially as a test subject) "people get hamsters because they want to test out the idea of having a pet". This is something that actually does happen - I myself have told kids that if they want to test out what having ...

Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Ho, thump? A:Santa laughing his head off!

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral. A man leans in toward her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?". "No, go right ahead", the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says "Plethora", and sits back down. "Thanks", the woman says, "that means a lot"

Q: Guess what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket? A: "I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.

A brain goes into a bar and the bartender says, "I can't serve you, you're out of your head!"

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

M: " Ha ha ha! Everyone laughed at my dreams of world domination? Well say hello to Deathbot ! Deathbot, show the people why you're called that!" D: ARRGH! OHHH! I'm dying! I'm dying!! M: Well, this is embarrassing! B: Don't give up your dream. Just climb right back up on that horse!

The next day, the dead bell ringer's twin brother comes in for the again vacant bell ringer position. He also has no arms. They lead him up to the bell tower, he runs at the bell, trips and falls to the sidewalk below. The same two guys walk by. The first asks, "Do you know him?" The second guy responds, "No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy we saw yesterday."

A church's bell ringer passed away, so they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it. They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the job. The next day he went to ring the bell, tripped, bounced off the bell and fell to the sidewalk below. Two guys were walking past. One asked, "Do you know this guy?" The second guy responded, "No, but his face rings a bell."